For the past 5 years or so, the Lord has encouraged my heart to take time off social media during Lent.
Each year, I never quite know the reason why He asks me to do so, but usually during the 46 days of quiet, I recognize what He’s trying to teach me during this recurring season.
This year, He spoke to me about the importance of quiet and expectation. During Lent, I read several books: Beholding, and Practicing the Way. I listened intently to podcasts, including Rule of Life. I spent time each morning, as per usual, reading through the chronological Bible with The Bible Recap's plan (6th year for me; it’s truly transformative!), and Eugene Peterson’s Praying With the Psalms.
What happened this morning, as I was reading in Psalm 37:7 CSB, was nothing short than what my friend Tiffany calls an epiphany.
“Be silent before the Lord and wait expectantly for him.”
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I realized THIS, this is what the Lord wanted me to learn in my 46 days of unusual quiet.
I am to get really still, quiet my soul, and meet Him there. I show up expectantly, behold Him, and He comes.
Every time.
I have yet to leave this time each morning in stillness and quiet without feeling such a swelling in my heart.
I love Him, and He loves me.
He wants me to be expectant when I show up and breathe in and out. He wants me to yearn for His presence. To anticipate His peace amongst the chaos.
I am His, and He is mine, and I feel an overwhelming sensation of “You, girl, are so loved. Just as you are. Just as I created you to be. You are precious. I love that you want to spend time with me.”
I don’t know about you, but for me, this is life-altering. As a school nurse, I always think of each year by school years. This school year, it’s been nothing short of pure madness. Angst, confusion, physical pain I’ve experienced, big changes, unsettling news.
My head and heart are weary, yes, but each morning, amidst the quiet, the breathing in and out, the beholding, the stillness, He is there with me. Afresh. Waiting for me with open arms, full of love, peace, and beauty, and I cannot wait to start my day expectantly in the love of God. Fully known, and fully my broken, weary, desperate for Him, self.
If you want to hear more about my experience, leave me a comment. Connect with me on IG, @sarahelizabethjoy. I’d love to encourage you about this practice as an apprentice of Jesus.